Remy Ma – There’s Something About Remy: Based On A True Story

Remy Ma has been talkin’ real greasy
about being the “baddest bitch”. I’ve heard the boasting
about how sick her flow is, how she writes her own lyrics and picks
her own beats, but can she live up to the hype? We have seen her do
her thing on “Lean Back” and the “Ante Up” remix. What we really
want to know is; is she more than just the token “female rapper”
on all male tracks? Personally, I am not impressed by the “Best
Female Hip-Hop” 2005 BET award, nor am I impressed with her backing
from the TS (Terror Squad). For me and a lot of other real Hip-Hop
fans it is going to take a real display of lyrical skills to convince
me that Remy Ma deserves to be promoted in the rap game. In recent interviews,
Remy Ma explains that she wants to be compared with the top male rappers.
Whoa, slow down little mamma! This is the first album you dropped and
you want to be put in the ring with Ghostface? Nas? I am about
to put on my white coat to examine this album thoroughly line for line.
If I don’t find any heart, I am about to pull the plug on Remy!

There’s something about Remy: Based
on a True Story dropped on the anniversary of Big Pun’s untimely death.
It is only right that Pun does the intro, “Pun’s World” in which
Pun claims, “Sometimes you gotta send a woman to do a man’s job”.
I’m feeling that, but not in this case. The hottest joints turn
out to be “Conceited” and “Whuteva”. Both are basic formulas
for successful party joints, so I cannot give an E for effort, but I
will give a D for nice try. Even with her star studded production including,
Swizz Beats and David Banner, the beats range from good to average on
the grand scale. Most notable include “I’m”, “Conceited”,
“Whuteva”, “Billingual” and “Tight” which features Fat Joe.

Lately the rap game is lazy, it’s all
about who can do what the last rapper did better. Case in point,
the “Conceited Messages” skit, which is a mirror image of Notorious
Big’s answering machine skit on “Ready to Die”. And, what is really
good with stealing titles, “Lights, Camera, Action” is supposed
to be a party joint, but all it makes me wanna do is go find Mr. Cheeks.
A bit of advice, ‘don’t do a song with the same title as a hot joint,
especially if yours is wack’. It seems Remy is also trying to
imitate Snoop Dog’s venture into porn by releasing; Guys Gone Wild,
a DVD featuring
XXX footage of her male groupies. Are you serious?

Later in the album Big Pun comes back
to feature on, “Thug Luv”. The sloppy, sappy hook as Pun sings,
“could it be I’m falling in love” officially qualifies this track
as Remy Ma’s ‘skip track’. Lately everyone manages to get
one in, this time Remy does it with Pun’s help. By track #13, “Bilingual”
you will be happy to hear something different even if you may not understand
half of the song. With Ivy Queen’s help (a lot of it)
Remy Ma puts out the English/Spanish joint claiming several times that
she “is the shit”, (in Spanish of course). The baseline is good
enough to ride off of, but after about three plays you might as well
put in a Reggaeton album and just get it over with!

Towards the end of the album the tone
slows down and becomes more introspective showcasing Remy Ma’s storytelling
skills. There are also two R-n-B joints featuring Ne-Yo and Keyshia
Cole. I was hoping to be surprised closer to the end, but the
whole album just winds down without a strong closing.

I am definitely disappointed. C’mon
Ma, you had me thinking this was about to be a Hip-Hop classic! In the
future, Remy needs to pay a bit more attention to her politics before
she jumps out there with the next album. For a debut she could
not afford to:

1. believe her own hype
2. have beef with your camp before
   your album drops.
3. c. admittedly be swinging from G-Unit’s
   jock strap (“it’s not my fault that they [G-Unit] make good music”)
4. d. not be a convincing bilingual
   rapper representing the Bronx

It seems that since Queen Latifah started
making movies; Eve paired off with Gwen Stefani; Lauren Hill gave birth;
Foxy went deaf; and Lil’ Kim got hit with a jail term, no one has
dared to step up. My prognosis is that Remy Ma needs to get some counseling
for that little bragging problem and work on her lyrics. For now Remy
Ma stays on life support until I see a bit more heart from her.